Is anybody out there?

Are there any autism researchers, developmental pediatricians, special educators, etc out there looking for an interesting case? What we've had going on here for about 6 months now seems to be an anomaly in terms of "typical" (whatever that means) autism traits.

Six months ago my 3 year old (4 in July) began using nicknames. It started as a cute quirky thing, but has spiraled out of control into a fixation that is keeping us locked in our home, and keeping me from being able to even speak to her. Now, she changes the nicknames randomly throughout the day, they are always a character from book/movie/tv and if she hears her real name she absolutely freaks out. She freaks out on me, her teachers, her classmates, our family, her Sunday school teachers, everyone. And apparently even the pronoun "you" means her name, so that can't be used either. Also, when her teachers have tried to humor her and write her current nickname on her papers, she flips out on them because she insists that all of her nicknames are spelled like her real name. This isn't just a fun game to her. Even in times of intense play and fun, and someone slips up and says her name, the activity abruptly stops so she can frantically correct the error. People everywhere--and I mean everywhere--are saying to me what an imagination she has and how "precocious." If it were just imagination she would not cling to it so rigidly--she would forget about the "name game" here and there. But she never forgets! And you'd think if it were just some fun imagination game that it would be more FUN, that it would more of a happy thing. But in fact, she is plagued by night terrors about this whole name thing. At night she yells and screams the same stuff about it as she does when she's awake. I try not to encourage it. I don't use her name and try to avoid saying "you" (which is pretty difficult--try it) but I don't call her by her nicknames either.

For example:

I said: "Good job!"
She said: "Good job, Lady in Pink!" And continues to repeat that, hoping that I'll say it back. I just say, "Yep, good job" and do not repeat the name.

Another example:

She says: "I'm Blues Clues, Mommy. I'm Blues Clues."
I say: "Okay" or "Sure" or "Uh huh" but don't linger on the issue

It's really embarrassing when she adopts names of kids at school, like "Eric" or "Domonick."

Also, despite all discipline methods I've used (spanking, take away toys and privileges), she still spends 99.9% of her waking hours being absolutely contrary, oppositional and defiant. Also, she responds to most anything I say in one of two ways:

1. purposefully taking oppositional stance:

Example:

She said: "Snow's all gone."
I said: "But it might snow again tomorrow."
She said: "No, next time!"
I said: "Yeah, maybe tomorrow.
She said: "NO! No 'maro. NEXT TIME!!!"
(That one erupted into a massive meltdown because I didn't repeat "next time.")

 2.  angry outburst or meltdown because she misunderstood what I said or frustrated by the receptive language problems.

Example:

I said: "Go ahead."
She said: "No! NO go head. GO HAIR!"

And there are fits when we talk about anything to do with time. Like, we're going to do this and then that, afterward. She thinks the "that" replaces the "this." No understanding of "after."

So many parents online report their high functioning autistic child to be so delightful and wonderful. Mine is supposedly high functioning autistic also. But our experience is far from delightful or even bearable. I'm wondering if maybe we've been hit hard by the terrible 3s, and the autism has even further intensified it.  Has anyone experienced a high functioning autistic child like what I have described?