The echolalia IS the eye contact

I've begun watching the video glossary on the Autism Speaks website--and I'm totally blown away at all the signs my daughter had even at 12 months. One video shows a typical baby at 12 months playing with something and often looking up to make happy eye contact with parent, smiling, as a way to share the activity. The contrasting video shows another child doing the same thing, but only engaging with toy, never seeking eye contact, and frustration when needing help with toy, but not seeking help from parent other than by vocal distress. That's my kid. Just seeing the baby in the video look up and smile at the parent/researcher struck me as so telling, since I have never seen my daughter do anything like this. Also, I have no other children, so no good comparisons. I knew from day two of her life that there was something different and more difficult about our experience, but I didn't know what it might be until much later.

As I was considering the issue of eye contact, something else struck me: the echolalia IS the eye contact. Her frantic insistence that I often repeat things she says IS the eye contact and sharing. That's how she maintains connection with me and reassurance that I am SEEING her.

Lightbulb moment.