Label or no label

The dentist doesn't get it ("Does she still have that diagnosis, because she seems to be doing GREAT!") and the neurologist doesn't get it ("So who told you she has autism? What does she do? Because I don't see it.") but the landlord sure gets it after she parked in front of our house where AKA is not used to seeing anyone park, which made the school bus have to stop in a different place...and I heard AKA yelling about it before the bus doors even opened. Then she almost fell down the steps out of the bus in her hurry to find out who parked "in our spot" and tell them off, which she did.

So there was my 4 year old, facing down our very stiff faced, no-nonsense, landlord (a middle-aged childless woman who does not seem very amused by children at all) and interrupting her conversation with the arborist who was there to give an estimate on trimming the hedge, to scold her about being in our spot and "I don't want you to do that anymore!" The landlord and arborist were held captive and wide-eyed by the ranting until I expertly distracted AKA with offers of chocolate pudding and herded her into the house though she was still sputtering about the outrage.

The next day I got a message from the landlord letting me know that the arborist would be back the following week to trim the hedge but that she had arranged for him to complete the job before the 3pm school bus, to avoid upsetting AKA.

I wouldn't have asked for that sort of special arrangement because I don't like to be petty and we have such bigger battles that we can handle these types of smaller freak outs--but just by what she witnessed, the landlord gets it. That was nice for a change. Now if the so-called medical experts could get it and realize that autism is a spectrum, there are no two cases alike, and a high-functioning autistic child isn't going to always be "doing" something autistic--unless you offend her by parking in the wrong place or any of the other atrocities that might set her off.

Oh yeah, and somehow it's okay for the condition of spina bifida occulta to be a spectrum, as the neurologist explained to me, but she doesn't believe autism is a spectrum, and thinks high functioning kids are wrongly diagnosed because that is labeling and apparently labeling is much worse than getting treatment and help.

If I had a quarter for every time someone warned me about labeling...

Label or no label, the speech, social and adaptive delays are still there.Without a label AKA is still a kid in special ed receiving services for developmental delay. She is still labeled "special ed." Special ed services are based on need, not on diagnosis. The people who are afraid of "labeling" are usually the same ones who choose to live in denial, and for them an irrational fear of "labeling" is a lot easier than tackling the intricacies and unknowns of the autism spectrum.